Am I crazy?

I will be the first to admit that I have done a few crazy things in my life. I once walked ten miles to a car dealer to buy a car and hung around all day so I could drive it home. I did the same thing when I bought a bicycle. I walked to the store some miles away, bought the bike, assembled it in the parking lot, and rode it home. I hitchhiked upriver from college to a town where some friends and I purchased a piece of plywood, rope and inner tubes (and beer) and we rafted back down the river to school.

Yes, I have a long history of insanity, which I am doing my best to maintain. I've been looking back through some of my year in Facebook and thought I would share some of my more insane moments and posts. Here goes...

January 26th
Here's a photo I took this morning of the snowstorm - not exactly what they predicted, was it?

February 9th
Tom Ryan on golf: "I don't play golf. When I hit a ball, someone else should chase it."

February 10th
Take note that Four Years from Home as just passed Donald Rumsfeld on the bestseller list. I will quote him here, because he says it best:

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.
Donald Rumsfeld

February 13th
It's things like this that make life fun. Look at the photo - me... George Bush... me... George Bush... me! Move over, Mr. President. Tom Ryan is taking over the White House.

February 14th
Deleted scene: Valentine's Day 6th grade. Tom and his would-be love Bonnie Shoedel
Tom: Hi Bonnie, I brought you a flower for Valentine's Day that I took from Billy Dietz. I only had to punch him once for it so it's in pretty good shape.
Bonnie: That's sweet, Tommy. You know what they say - love is in the air. (She closes her eyes and puckers up.)
Tom: Oh is that what that smell is. I thought it was old man Miller spreading manure again.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! :D

March 21st

Four Years from Home

Chapter 3- Mary never ate much meat and always finished every vegetable at the table. This was handy since I hated vegetables of every kind except ketchup and French fries. I used to call her Bean Sprout, but she didn’t much look like one right now. She looked more like an artichoke, as in she was ready to practice the art of choking me good for saying such a stupid thing.

March 22nd
What makes something funny? Why is something funny to one person and not to another? Would Plato argue that there is an absolute of funny just like there is of beauty or truth? Does this cat look like he cares?

February 23rd
Today in 1954, the first mass inoculation of kids against polio with the Salk vaccine began in Pittsburgh. I was there.They had really big needles. OW!

February 28th
Chapter 4... Another day of leftovers and another day without word from Kenyon College - this waiting was getting harder and harder to take for everyone, especially me. I considered burying what remained of the turkey in the side yard but there were two problems with that. First and foremost was the fact that all of my good burying spots were already filled with incriminating evidence from years past...

• Sky Murphy Is that a turkey or a horse?

  February 28 at 7:23am ·  ·  1
• 

  Judi Coltman Larry - Did you go to Kenyon? My niece and nephew both graduated from there.

  February 28 at 7:27am ·  ·  1
• 

  Four Years from Home Yes, I did, Judi. I graduated with a degree in Philosophy in 1972. That's where I received my training to become Philosopher King. No openings yet, but I am ever hopeful.

  February 28 at 7:36am · 
• 

  David Strange How is she holding that up? It must weight 50 lbs.

  February 28 at 12:37pm ·  ·  1
• 

  Four Years from Home I believe there is a Ronco Tremendous Turkey Lifter there that you can't see.

  February 28 at 12:43pm · 
• 

  Katy Pari That's just wrong. LOL
  
  

April 19th

Four Years from Home

Chapter 5-West Virginia, where we’d go drinking because the legal age was 18 and not enforced unless you really screwed up. I was caught 3 times when I was only 17 and never spent a day in jail. Maybe they recognized their true king in my young punk disguise, or maybe believed my stories, but more likely they liked the color of my money. I tried to imagine how far a $10 bribe would get me today. Inflation’s a bugger.

April 25th

Four Years from Home

Chapter 12-“Harry needs to be left alone, Tom. He’s sick and has to rest.”
I was only 8 and didn’t yet understand the concept. “Doesn’t he need more happy medicine?” which was Kool-Aid laced with some otherwise odious-tasting liquid aspirin.
“No, he’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not worried, Mommy, I just need Harry to test out my new cannon.” Which, when translated, meant I was going to use Harry as the target.

April 28th

Four Years from Home

Chapter 9 - "I should have been a weatherman. It’s a lot easier to look up at the sky and tell what is going to happen with the weather than to understand or predict people."

This is actually me paddling around in our front yard a few years back. We getting rain like that today. Maybe I'll get the raft out later...

April 29th

Four Years from Home

Chapter 4-There is something very wrong with the American criminal justice system. It is supposed to rely on evidence, facts, arguments, and conclusions. From this a measured judgment is supposed to be made. Dad’s reply was my first realization that things didn’t work that way; they didn’t work that way at all. “I don’t care what he did. That’s his problem. You were wrong to disobey me.”

May 3rd

Four Years from Home

Chapter 2 - Dad would get out his old violin and scratch out all eighteen verses of Tura-lura-lura, the Irish sandpaper ballad that made my hair stand on end. I know you know what I’m talking about. They used to play it in the Irish Concentration Camps to educate those who doubted that St. Patrick drove out all the snakes from Ireland. St. Patrick had a fiddle, too. And we never had a snake problem at our house.

May 5th
Tom Ryan reminds you that during the spring allergy season it is polite to cover your mouth when you sneeze.

May 5th
From The Book of Tom - On this day in 1962, the U.S. performed another atomic bomb test. This is a photo of actual dummies they set up in a fake town out west, which they then blew up, thus proving that if you can get all the dummies into one place you can take care of them in one shot.

May 8th
Happy Mother's Day to all Moms! Especially the ones who have to put up with the likes of kids like Tom Ryan...

May 10th
Today in 1969 Apollo 10 transmitted the 1st color pictures of Earth from space.

May 12th
Another royal wedding photo, completely unretouched and un-photoshopped. (This one is not floating around the Internet, so feel free to blame Tom Ryan.)

May 17th
‎"Simpsons" use chalk board to apologize for slam on Four Years from Home.

May 18th
The latest in T-shirt fads has come to Four Years from Home.

May 29th
There is a rumor going around that Sir Nigel Wigglebottom is related to Justin Bieber. You decide.

May 31st
Did you know that Amazon keeps track of the things you highlight on your Kindle? 22 people highlighted this line from Four Years from Home: “If you aren’t smart enough to figure it out, I’m not dumb enough to tell you.”

June 2nd

A King in a Court of Fools

Hey, you 500+ people who read this week's episode, thanks! I love you, man (and woman, boy, girl, insert non-gender specific comment here).

June 22nd
Yes, it is true. Sir Nigel had a cameo in Transformers, but when he tried to plug the book, they shot him to the moon, Alice.

July 22nd
To keep up with the latest terrorist innovations on injecting bombs into passengers, and in conjunction with their latest non-naked image technology, the TSA has released this photo of what a suspected terrorist with an implanted bomb would look like.

July 23rd
A solution to the debt ceiling crisis..

August 26th
We're working on forming a posse here!

September 13th
June 24th 1955 in the hospital. They needed a cage to keep me down.

September 28th
A King in a Court of Fools is now officially available in all formats.

October 28th

I love the warmth of the sun on my face in the morning when I'm sitting at my desk writing. Having to wear sunglasses? Not so much. Yo.

October 31st - Halloween post

November 8th
My Christmas novel is in the hands of my favorite editor. If it doesn't end up in the litter pan, it should be out by Thanksgiving.

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Am I crazy? You decide.